The wifey...

I am currently in San Francisco for business and there is one thing that is constantly on my mind... Jenna (and of course "the kids" as well). It is so hard to believe that we have been together for almost 8 years now. It has been 8 years of bliss. Sure I've had my share of ups and downs but my wife makes every experience better. She is so pure and loving. She is my best friend. These realizations always hit me when I travel because I get to reflect on how fortunate I am when I am away from the dearest people in my life. I love you Jenna. 1 year done and many more to come.

The wifey...

I am currently in San Francisco for business and there is one thing that is constantly on my mind... Jenna (and of course "the kids" as well). It is so hard to believe that we have been together for almost 8 years now. It has been 8 years of bliss. Sure I've had my share of ups and downs but my wife makes every experience better. She is so pure and loving. She is my best friend. These realizations always hit me when I travel because I get to reflect on how fortunate I am when I am away from the dearest people in my life. I love you Jenna. 1 year of married life and many more to come.

Entry for August 12, 2008

Old timer...

I remembered something a couple weeks ago from our honeymoon that really made me think...
While Jenna and I were in Moab, UT on our honeymoon we stayed at a B&B. Each morning we'd wake up and eat breakfast with the rest of the B&B guests prior to departing on our day's journey.

On one of these mornings, prior to going to the dining room at the B&B, I was trying to decide if I wanted to wear my VT hat to breakfast. I ultimately decided not to for no reason really.
Anyways at breakfast that morning a variety of subjects were discussed... small talk really. However, there was an older gentleman there that began to complain about how rude it was to wear a hat in someone's house or at the dinner table. His reasoning was that it was a sign that that individual was ready to leave.

Wow! What a narrow minded perspective. While I respect what he had to say, I was also disgusted by it. Why would he read someone's mind/intentions based on what they were wearing? From my perspective, if I wear a hat into your house and do not remove it, please see it as a complement. It is a sign that I am happy in the place that I am and in the moment that I am in.

To take off my hat based on a "societal norm" is an insult to who I am and what I learned as I grew up. Some of my fondest memories as a teenager involved sitting at my best friend's house for dinner with a hat on at the dinner table. It was what we did!

I wish I had worn my hat to breakfast that morning in Moab...

Entry for July 7, 2008

There it is. I am so happy with the final outcome. Mad props to Matt Terry of FU's Custom Tattoo in Charlotte, NC who came up with the final design and gave me the tattoo. Jenna and I will be back!

Now for a description of the experience at the tattoo shop... I won't lie it hurt a lot more than I expected. I thought I would fall asleep during the process but I was far from it. Within the first 10 minutes I started feeling faint but I am glad I was honest with myself, Matt, and Jenna as the process would have been a lot harder had I passed out. After a short break I was good to go for the rest of the tattoo but the pain continued. The only way I can describe it is it felt like he was taking an Exacto knife to the skin on my back. Regardless of the pain, the experience was unforgettable. The people, music, and entire experience at the shop were truely brilliant.

This tattoo is the perfect tribute to a great friend and the final image is a great reflection of an image that I regularly use when quieting my mind, just as the words Aaron had told me many years ago... "Hang in there". Those 3 words served the purpose then and this image does now.

Entry for July 1, 2008

Only a few more days until this image is permanently etched on my upper back.


It is tribute to Aaron and an image that has very frequently played an important role in my OCD treatment. An image that destroys the content in my head and brings me back to the here and now. To me it is a sign of freedom, a coup against an anxiety disorder, a sign of being, and just as importanly a tribute to a friendship.


I'll post pics early next week.


Signed,
Some Drunk Mexican

Entry for June 30, 2008

Beer done done it.

While I was walking Ms. Etta this evening I realized that my mind was wondering in every direction that it could. Did I do this at the gym? Did I do that at the gym?

These questions have continued for hours but it was a bottle of beer that finally brought me back to the moment. It may sound surpising but the simplicity of beer is now a passion for me. A passion that returns me to the here and now.

It is like fishing with a friend.

Entry for June 19, 2008

Wow. My mind was wondering quite a bit throughout the day (especially at the gym) but I know I won the game today. Because right now, I am sitting here at my favorite local coffee shop sipping on a medium soy mocha with whip cream and embracing the moment for everything that it has to offer.



My jaw is somewhat clenched. My hands are somewhat shaky and there is a feeling of nervousness throughout my body. But like savasana I am letting my muscles melt into the wooden chair at the coffee shop. I feel what I am feeling within my mind and spirit and accept the feeling for what it is... no need to fight it... no need to try to change the feeling. I am embracing the feeling because it is this very moment that matters.



Like this blog, I find that doing something "extraordinary" each day that increases my anxiety makes me a smarter and stronger being.



Tell a friend you love them. Fart in front of a friend you've never farted in front of before. Buy a beer for someone you just recently met. Hug a friend who you have never hugged before. In the past, these experiences would make me uncomfortable even though deep down I enjoyed them. Now I enjoy the discomfort and embrace it with open arms. It has opened my world to so many new opportunities... it has made me a being again.