Entry for June 30, 2008

Beer done done it.

While I was walking Ms. Etta this evening I realized that my mind was wondering in every direction that it could. Did I do this at the gym? Did I do that at the gym?

These questions have continued for hours but it was a bottle of beer that finally brought me back to the moment. It may sound surpising but the simplicity of beer is now a passion for me. A passion that returns me to the here and now.

It is like fishing with a friend.

Entry for June 19, 2008

Wow. My mind was wondering quite a bit throughout the day (especially at the gym) but I know I won the game today. Because right now, I am sitting here at my favorite local coffee shop sipping on a medium soy mocha with whip cream and embracing the moment for everything that it has to offer.



My jaw is somewhat clenched. My hands are somewhat shaky and there is a feeling of nervousness throughout my body. But like savasana I am letting my muscles melt into the wooden chair at the coffee shop. I feel what I am feeling within my mind and spirit and accept the feeling for what it is... no need to fight it... no need to try to change the feeling. I am embracing the feeling because it is this very moment that matters.



Like this blog, I find that doing something "extraordinary" each day that increases my anxiety makes me a smarter and stronger being.



Tell a friend you love them. Fart in front of a friend you've never farted in front of before. Buy a beer for someone you just recently met. Hug a friend who you have never hugged before. In the past, these experiences would make me uncomfortable even though deep down I enjoyed them. Now I enjoy the discomfort and embrace it with open arms. It has opened my world to so many new opportunities... it has made me a being again.

Entry for June 12, 2008

Oh yeah! A trip with the wifey to Blacksburg tomorrow. How I love these trips to the place where we met, fell in love, and got married. Blacksburg is our home away from home... our weekend getaway.

Looking back on my years at Virginia Tech it amazes me the difficulties that I had, mentally, during my first three years at Virginia Tech. Those first three years I was extremely depressed and my anxiety disorder really began to surface. I am amazed because a place that was once "hell" in my mind is now my favorite place in the world.

It is proof that our minds are very powerful. If it weren't for my father who helped me "re-center" myself during my college years I would not have this passion for Bburg and I likely would not have met my wife.

In hindsight, during my first 3 years I was living in the past and for other people. My last year at Virginia Tech I was living in and feeling the present regardless of what I was feeling.

Embrace the moment. If I hadn't I would have missed so much.

Entry for June 09, 2008

I did something yesterday that I had never done before, I told a friend that I loved them. I did this in person and I went into it full of nervousness and fear. However, it turned out to be one of the most sincere, pure, and memorable moments in my life.

It amazes me that we rarely tell our friends how we truely feel about them. I think we do this because of how we have been "trained" by society. What will our friend think? What will others think? Will my actions be considered strange? If the friend is of the opposite sex, will my wife be angered with me?

I suggest we all go beyond what society has taught us and to share our feelings with our friends regardless of the situation or what we may expect to be the consequence. Feelings are feelings and should never be shunned.

This friend, who I have just recently come to know, has already brought so much to my life and our friendship. Why shouldn't I express my feelings?

Ghost mice will say it again and will love it... for it is the moment and our present feelings that really matter.